"[...]The cumulative effect will be to render you immune to 99.7 percent of all known forms of sickness and reduce the aging process by one half.” “What?” Chakrika asked. “You can actually do that?” Lucius asked. “There were rumors in the empire, but nobody thought anything of it, considered it Commonwealth propaganda.” Rex smiled, asking, “How old do you think I am?” “Twenty-seven,” Chakrika replied confidently. “I can always tell.” “That’s what I would say as well,” Lucius spoke. “But I sense that you’re about to surprise us.” “Fifty-four standard years,” Rex replied. Chakrika stared, her mouth gaping. Lucius laughed, shaking his head.So, the main support characters can't do grade school math.[*] One of those characters is a serial lover. As in "get in love -> manage to get girlfriend murdered -> change planet -> repeat". And it's not an in-joke (or doesn't look like one), but someone we're supposed to take seriously, tormented and all. Or, in the other book, a main character who gets a Bronze Star + "V" on his first serious deployment. Him and his whole squad. The whole military side on that one is... rote, scripted. Like taken from someone else's tales without running it by a vet. Which can be a choice, but it's a dangerous one. And he doesn't pull it. Maybe is that "born and raised in [Europe]" + "been a soldier" in his bio. Some parts of the tale smell of peacetime draft. And the MoH character is off. So, not really wrong stories. But not quite right. Could have used some extra input. I'll probably stick to indie for a while. I wouldn't mind amazon epub that much, but... they only serve mobi. Take care. [*] Wait! He can't! About a baby: "Just disease killers and cell repair. You don’t get the age treatment until you’re fully grown." But, of course: "It’s not an exact process." Tell & awe, verbose++, and it doesn't even gel.
Reminder of the Workshop Sale
-
We Are Starting a New Shopify Store… This store is for the World of the
Fey. So we will be doing a sale on the store as well as a workshop sale on
WMGTeach...
Hace 12 horas
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario